“Sweet Jesus, I’m wearing two wristwatches!”
What on earth for?
“I’m absolutely clueless …. a complete mystery.”
You’re telling me.
Absolutely clueless. I often hear that admitting a problem tends to be the first step toward full recovery.
In your case, it might be considered a giant leap for mankind.
On a daily basis.
“If it’s a bonafide mystery.”
It is. You are. Trust me.
“Ok. So it is. Why am I wearing two watches?”
Not a clue.
“Time to play private detective.”
“I’ll be O’Holmes, and you can be O’Watson.”
What’s with the O?
“Copyright storm troopers. They’re everywhere.”
Ok. Say there, McHolmes …
Sorry about that. Why Irish?
“My pap always said that if he had half a brain, he’d be a Brit.”
And so …?
“I want my detective to come across as being akin to intelligence. So, he’s a smart aleck Irishman.”
You were born for this role.
Ok. Say there, O’Holmes. Why are you wearing two wristwatches?
“Nice line. Clearly enunciated with a slight flare of professionalism.”
Thank you. Your turn.
“Two watches?! Oh, good God I am. But why?”
“Ok. Thinking … On one hand, this is a new watch. Maybe it keeps time better?”
“And the other is old, bought it a pawn shop, used, and isn’t reliable.”
So why are you wearing it?
“It’s a secondhand watch.”
Now, that actually makes as little sense as possible.
“Why do I have two watches today? That’s perplexing.”
Think … again.
“You have a lot of patience, Doctor O’.”
That’s what friends are for … being patient.
Fantastic! Let’s hear it.
“The new watch is to help be on time … Like meeting you at the bus stop.”
And you did. Right on time.
“The other watch is to remind me to ask if you’d like to go to a movie and then dinner afterwards.”
I’d love to. Thanks for asking.
What time does the movie start?
“Well, on one hand, we’re already late.”
“But on the other hand, we’ll just make it if you pull the cord right now.”
“ now. This is our stop.”
“Happy Valentines Day.”
Happy Valentines Day back at you, knucklehead.
James F. Ross